The Ending of 2009 is Here

This Semester of school and life have had it's ups and downs...I'm very glad that 2009 is quickly coming to an end! I have lost some friends and made some even better ones. I have lost the person whom I thought to be the love of my love...and I accept that and I'm actually okay with it. You know if you never lied you wouldn't have so many things to keep up with and try to remember! I believe God brings people in our lives for various reasons....Some people are meant to be here for a life time...while others are just brought here to teach you something. I thank God for all people who have brought heartache and pain, for those people have only made me stronger, wiser and much smarter. God has stretched me so much this year...And I can't do anything but be grateful for it. I know it's working for my good! My mom was recently in the hospital for almost a month. It has put a lot in perspective for me, I was so scared...looking at my mother in the hospital bed just made me miserable and I felt defeated. Now that she is home a wave of relief and peace has filled me! God has truly kept His hand on my family...Although things haven't been going well betwwen all of us...we have toughed it out and stuck together. School has been challenging but I am overcoming it! I have registered for classes next semester...I'll be taking Microbiology, Anatomy II, Yoga and Social Psych. I think my new school is a much better fit for me than my old college. Another blessing I have also recieved this year. 2009 has been an awfu year for me....so I'm not sad to see it go! And my great nephew will be 1yr old in a week! And I am so blessed to have that lil booger in my life! I love you Ayden!

Few Rants and Raves...

It's Clearly Been Forever Since My Last Post....I Just Have a Few Rants and Raves...

1. I BECAME A GOD MOMMY!!! I have a godson named Tyler who was born on August 5th...he is soooo chunky now!! And just so beautiful!!!
2. Started a New School...Love it! Learn way more at Tri-C than NDC...I Miss My NDC Friends though...
3. My Oldest Best Friend Turns 21 in only a matter of 11 days!!! Ahhh!! How Exciting!!!
4. I Decided to Give my exboyfriend another shot and things are going pretty good...he will always be the one I hold closest to my heart....I will be there for him through hell and high waters...I feel a little unappreciated from time to time but my good deed will be one written to above!!
5. NEW MOON IS COMING OUT IN 61 DAYS...62 IF YOU COUNT TODAY!!! BUT I AM SOOOOO EXCITED!!!
6. This summer I lost one of my oldest loves...he still physically walks this earth, but he will never be apart of my world ever again. Love hurts and it's a battle you have to be prepared to lose from time to time....maybe I'll see him next life time...maybe not...

Well For Now this May Be It...Ohhh But Once I Find My Michael Jackson Poem...I'll Post It!!!

So Gone

It’s funny how we love to love…but love doesn’t love us back…yet it’s a sure fact that I love hard but it sucks that no one is there to catch me when I’m ready to fall. You see I pushed you away as hard as I could, so you would go astray. But you kept beating down my door until I just couldn’t take it anymore. I started to allow you to find your way back into my heart, the same spot you once occupied. Now that I have matured I know how to treat a man and what role I play in the relationship. I learned to be submissive and supportive of your ambitions and your dreams and did I mention...I would follow you all around God’s green Earth. For your love is the one I shut out but when you wanted to make it work I had nothing but hesistant thought. And now I’m ready but you’re no longer there. Now you like the idea of being single but don't wanna to mingle. So why open a door you weren’t ready for or too lazy to walk through. I’m just asking you to be a man and understand that I too have issues with this life you wanna pursue. I’m not talking about anything illegal I’m simply talking about this relationship that isn’t legal in eyes of God. But I won’t and I can’t be that girl I once was because I need to be the Woman God called me to be. Oh it was that weak naive unstable girl you adored well I’m sorry for your loss because I am at the point of no return. I guess I’ll be going because I know the plan He has for me is much greater than this misery you have indeed placed upon me. I hope that you find that girl you are looking for because I know I will find he whom I’m patiently waiting for.

It's Human Nature to Wonder this Way....

When it Doesn't Work Out the First Time...Will it Work Out the Second Time?

Love is the best feeling in the World but, Can be the Most Painful...I have always wanted to marry young...maybe 24ish but I see how things in my life have changed. Not only has my major changed but so has the Love of My Life...Although I am Single I am Very Much Involved with God. I Have found True Unconditional Love with Him...but as Far as Worldly Relationships...I'm Not Sure if I have it in me to allow him back into My World...I have changed immensely...I'm not that Samantha he fell in love with...But he wants back in so bad. How do I Back Track when I have moved so much ahead...I try and not allow him to detour my Destination. How am I really Suppose to Know if I should Give it another Chance? I know I have plenty of Great things going for myself...but I do get tired of being alone and I'm not talking about sex, someone to take a walk with a night, someone to hold my hand when I need to cry and talk about my daddy or even someone to talk on the phone for hours about silly nothings...How do you know when someone special isn't all that special anymore? I wanted more commitment...he wasn't ready to let go of that single life...I was tried of the side dishes he kept here and there...so I just let it go out of nowhere...now it's all falling down like a ton of bricks...Do I give it another try or do I just let it burn...I'm not that same young naive Samantha anymore...

On the Road to My Academic Future...

My first blog on here....Well I am starting my 3rd/Junior Year...While Being in school I have switched my Major 3 Times...But you know what they say "3rd Time is Always a Charm." I started out with education but thought that wasn't challenging enough...Switched it to Nursing my sophomore year...I then Realized I wasn't Fulfilled...I Got on My Face and Prayed about It and Waited for God. So as I waited on God I realized that I Had this Strong Passion to Work With Our Youth and Teens...and One Day While I was Cleaning My Dorm I Found this Activity I Did While I was in The 9th Grade...And The Lord Gave Me My Answer...Psychology. I want to Start My Own Practice and Do Amazing Programs for Teens and Seminars for Inner City Schools on Sex Education. After I leave horrible NDC I do plan on Going to Grad School...I Haven't Decided if I'm Leaving Cleveland or Not...I was Looking at Case, Howard, Kent, NYU...but I'm Gonna Wait Until Spring of 2010 to Decide...But Whatever I Do I Will Ask the Lord to Continue to Bless Me and Keep His Hand On Me...Have a Blessed Night Everyone and Thanks for Reading....