The Aftermath

I think about you daily
Almost as if it's a ritual
And it's been getting a little rough lately
These emotions I deliberately suppressed
Coming to flood me and I've got no life vest
My heart feels slightly distressed
Tears like these feels so foreign to my eyes
Streaming down in which seems to be a never ending sea of cries
Recalling when I was last like this,
I was saying my goodbyes.

Past memories of you bombarding my mind
If I can only live through them one last time,
You see it's not that I forgot about you
But someone had to be strong
Mom's eyes were continuously wet
While Steven's anger made it seem as if he were gone
The pain that ripped through my heart
Sent my mind, body and soul into a permanent state of shock
Couldn't allow my true feelings to unfold
So my emotions lay under lock and key
Not allowing this tragic event to get the best of me.

Didn't realize how much hurt and anger I had inside
Until the day I found myself questioning God, why?!
My graduation, wedding and future children you wouldn't be around to witness
But now I'm older I take it for what it is
I wouldn't want nothing more than for you to be here
But He called you home so He could keep you near
So I know one day
I'll walk through those pearly gates
And see you waiting with that smile
Calling me Princess again
Just like you did when I was a child.